Apr 30

A Wedding costs HOW MUCH?!?!

cakeOn March 8th the love of my life proposed to me (aww). On May 9th, we announced the engagement to our excited friends and family. My mom was smiling from ear to ear and my grandfather joked, “It’s about time!”

Immediately thereafter we were bombarded with a slew of questions I was completely unprepared to answer:

  • Have you set a date?
  • Will you get married in Maine or New York (or do a destination wedding?)
  • Have you picked a venue?
  • Why type of dress do you want?
  • Will his family be able to make it (many of them still live in Manila, so we want to plan around them being able to come)
  • Who’s in the bridal party?
  • Will you take his last name or keep yours?

By the end of the first day of, “announcements” my head was spinning. After 6 years of dating I was thrilled just to be able to introduce Eric as my, “fiance”. It’s sort of funny because we’ve always been committed to each other (heck we have a, “fur baby” and even purchased a home together), we just didn’t have an external symbol (engagement ring) that perfect strangers could see.

Since he put that pretty rock on my finger, clients have been commenting and asking me questions about my relationship status (which is really pretty sweet and sometimes pretty funny. I.e. comments like, “You can’t be old enough to get married!”).

ice sculpture

Ice Sculpture Swans, not exactly our style!

A Wedding costs HOW MUCH??? Insert shocked face here!

A frugal, “bride in training”, once I told my family about the engagement, I immediately immersed myself in learning how to plan a wedding on a budget. I searched pinterest, etsy and wedding bee for inexpensive venues, flowers, cakes, caterers and wedding rings (holy cow… planning a wedding without spending a fortune is a full-time job! Now I know why some people happily hire a wedding planner to deal with all of this).

I looked up the average cost of an American wedding and, googled, “most expensive places to getting married”. Here’s the list I came up with-gulp:

Top 25 Most Expensive Places to Get Married

Based on average cost of a wedding in 2013:
  • New York City (Manhattan): $86,916
  • Long Island: $57,343
  • North/Central New Jersey: $51,287
  • Chicago: $48,449
  • NYC Outer Boroughs: $47,121
  • Santa Barbara/Ventura, CA: $44,214
  • Rhode Island: $42,469
  • Westchester/Hudson Valley, NY: $42,444
  • Connecticut: $41,745
  • Philadelphia: $40,350
  • Los Angeles: $38,735
  • South New Jersey: $38,620
  • Washington, DC/Northern Virginia/suburban Maryland: $37,487
  • Southern Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and surrounding areas): $37,210
  • Boston: $35,512
  • Houston: $35,475
  • Louisiana: $35,008*
  • Lehigh Valley/Poconos, PA: $34,488*
  • San Francisco: $33,836
  • Orange County/Inland Empire, CA: $32,021
  • Baltimore: $31,964
  • Chicago Suburbs, IL: $31,489*
  • Detroit: $31,044*
  • San Diego: $30,885
  • Maine: $29,854*
*New to Top 25 List in 2013- Source: XO Group Inc.

Great…NYC is the most expensive place to get married, and Maine is the 25th most expensive. We certainly have no intention of spending anywhere near either figure. If I was 22, I’d probably want a huge fairy tale wedding with a chocolate fountain and a huge cake and a huge fancy ballgown. At 32, a small simple ceremony with good food and drink and very close friends and family is much more my, “speed” and we definitely have much better uses for $30-80k!

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with other couples spending on their, “big day” if that’s what they want. We’d just rather save our money and use it towards other things.

Married? Tell me about your wedding. How many people did you invite? How much did you spend? Not married? What’s the most you’d spend on a wedding?


Image: Kurt Nordstrom, boscobridalexpos

Apr 23

Where have you been? and BIG news!

Hi friends. You may have noticed that I’ve been pretty quite for the past few months (apologies!). I think I was having a “3-decade crisis” (is that real, I have no idea?). I was feeling like I was at a crossroads in my life where I wasn’t really sure, “what’s next?” I was trying to figure out what the future held for me, both in my career and my personal life (relationships, friendships etc.).

Even though I had a lot going on, I didn’t really feel like I had a lot to say (which is pretty unusual because I always have something to say-wink).

I guess it was a time for being introspective and that’s why I took a break from the blog. The break lasted a lot longer then I had ever planned or intended, but I didn’t want to jump back into the blogosphere and put up posts just to post. I try to keep my content as, “real” as possible and when I’m feeling, “stuck” the blog is stuck too.

So if you’ve been anxiously awaiting my return, curious about where I disappeared to, the answer is here:


Eric proposed to me on March 8th, and we’re now happily engaged (aww). The sign above is how I we told my parents and family that we’re engaged. We skyped with my folks and told them that Brooklyn (our dog) wanted to, tell them something. Then we held him up with the sign. It worked great the first few times until I held the sign upside down and saw my sister tilting her head and trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

So that’s the news in my little world. I’m now answering a million personal questions from people I don’t know that well about my fiance (how strange it is to type that after 6 years of having a “boyfriend”), my engagement and my wedding planning (or lack thereof). It’s all pretty fun and exciting (not just the wedding stuff, but finally being able to plan a future with the man I love).

I’ve also been working on some career things, including possibly taking on some private therapy clients at night (more on that in a, “side hustle” post to come) which is helping me feel re-energized about my work.

So if you’re an old friend, I’m glad you stuck around and I hope you’ll continue to stick around! If you’re an advertiser, blogger or colleague who sent me an email message I haven’t replied to, I’m SO sorry, please send it again and I promise I’ll reply right away (my inbox has gotten a little hairy and I’m going to have to start fresh to keep my sanity). And if you’re a new friend, Welcome! I’m very excited to have you here!

Tell me what’s new in your world! Have you ever taken a break from something and started fresh? Had a mid-life or 3-decade crisis? Gotten engaged? Tell me about it!


Mar 04

Would you move to cut your mortgage in half?

mortgageWhen I was paying off my student loan debt I felt, “stuck” and, “broke”. I worried I’d never dig myself out of the hole that I’d made and I felt frustrated a lot. When finally submitted that final payment and received my, “paid in full letter” in the mail, I was thrilled…for a minute.

Because I’ve always been a goal setter, I tend to celebrate accomplishments then immediately re-focus on a new goal. My goal after paying off my debt was saving a down-payment and buying a condo.

Since we’re now homeowners, my main goal is saving for the future and building wealth. Full-disclosure, when I typed, “building wealth” I sort of laughed at myself. I guess since I’ve never really thought of myself as a, “big earner” so the concept of, “building wealth” has always seemed a little foreign to me.

Somewhere along the line, I’d convinced myself that only the super wealthy can, save the “big bucks” and, “build wealth”. Why? I’m not really sure. But thankfully other folks in the personal finance blogosphere have taught me that anyone can build wealth. You don’t have to be make a million dollars a year, or even $100,000 a year to build wealth.

Sure a person making 6 figures will be able to save more and save faster, but that doesn’t mean you can’t save and build wealth when you’re making less.

All that to say, Eric and I have been talking about the possibility of moving out of our condo (we’d rent it out) and into a cheaper living situation (either buying a cheaper condo or single family home in the suburbs, or renting an apartment).  We’ve run the number and done a little research and it seems very possible for us to cut our housing costs (as much as in half).

Basically if we moved further outside of the city, moved to a less, “hip” neighborhood, moved to a smaller apartment (you get the idea) we’d be able to save more and save faster. Here are a few of the pros and cons we’re batting around:


  • Our mortgage (or housing expenses if we rent) would be cheaper so we’d be able to save more aggressively
  • We’d probably be able to find a place with parking which would save us $300 a month in parking fees
  • If we rent our heat and hot water would probably be included


  • We’d probably be moving further outside of the city which means a longer commute
  • We’d definitely be moving outside of our neighborhood, which we really like
  • We like our condo. It’s cozy and comfortable and has newer appliances
  • I hate moving, it’s expensive and so stressful

I guess it all boils down to preferences, tradeoffs and what we’re willing to give up. The faster we save, the quicker we’ll be able to work on other goals. Some of our long-term goals include: buying a rental property (or two-why not be dream big?), starting a business (more about this later), traveling more and saving more aggressively for retirement.

What do you think? Would you move if you could significantly decrease your mortgage or rental costs?


Feb 09

I lost my financial groove and I’m stuck

carsSunday morning Eric and I were having a conversation about our future. Basically I told him that I’ve felt, “stuck” lately and I’m not sure where I’m going with my life.

To, “boil it down”, I’ve been working at the same company for 5 years. I worked so hard to pass my professional licensing boards and now I’m not sure where I want to go from here. I’m feeling like it’s time to make some changes.  I love my clients and co-workers, but there’s only so much you can learn at the same job and I feel like it’s time to spread my wings a little bit and try something new.

But it doesn’t just end there. I’ve been feeling stuck in other areas of my life too. I haven’t been blogging as much as I used to (OK, not nearly as much as I used to) and I haven’t been active in the personal finance blogosphere. It’s not that I don’t want to blog and comment, I just feel, “stuck”. Like I don’t have anything to write about or say. I know that’s not completely true, but when I get home at the end of the day I feel exhausted and annoyed (which isn’t really motivational-and nobody wants to read debbie downer posts).

When I was paying off my student loan debt I had something to, “fight”. When I was saving the down payment for our condo, I was willing to sacrifice for the end goal. Ditto for replenishing our emergency fund. Since we had to use it multiple times I was completely motivated to get it fully funded asap.

Basically, I’ve always been a type-a personality. I make goals and I focus on them exclusively. I like to do things 110%, or not at all. So now that I’ve reached a lot of my personal, professional and financial goals, I’m sort of looking for what’s next.

Saving for retirement and putting money in the savings account each month is great, but I’ll be honest I was much more motivated to save when I had a, “thing” or a more tangible goal that I was working towards.

What this post is about? I’m not exactly sure, so thanks for sticking around for the ramble. Please share with me how you stay motivated to save and spend wisely (when you have a specific goal in mind) and more importantly (for me right now!) when you don’t.

Image: Don Sorensen


Jan 26

5 frugal activities I’m entertaining myself with during the #blizzard15


image: WeatherChannel.com

“The weather is getting worse by the minute”, says NBC4 in NYC. Thankfully my employer let non-essential staff go home today at 4pm, to avoid the bulk of the snow and bad travel. So I’m now comfy/cozy in my PJs lounging on the couch and thinking about the 18-24 inches (depending on what news outlet you watch) of snow we’re going to get.

I’m crossing my fingers we don’t lose power and praying that everyone in the path of the storm stays warm, safe and comfortable.

5 frugal activities I’m entertaining myself with during the blizzard:

  1. Knitting-I just finished up a cardigan for my adorable niece. Right now I’m working on another cardigan for my, “baby closet”. With so many friends expecting these days, I store away a few things for baby showers etc.
    baby sweaterTotal cost? The price of the yarn, which I always try to buy at a discount or with a coupon. The blue yarn I used for the cardi was $3 a skein. I used about 1.5 skeins for a toddler size 3 sweater, so $4.50 for the whole sweater.
  2. Cooking-notice cleaning is not on the list?-wink). As long as we have power, I plan to do a little cooking. Butternut squash soup (recipe by Emeril Lagasse) is one of my favorites, so I’ll be making that. Cost to make the soup? About $4.00 for the squash and a few dollars more for the onions, spices, carrots etc. I omit the cream because Eric doesn’t like it. It makes 5-6 good sized bowls, yum!
  3. Exercising-I see a little FOCUS T25 in my future tomorrow. When I can’t get outside to run I like to do the cardio workout. Cost? Free, I own the DVD set. I paid about $60 for the whole set on ebay a few months back.
  4. Blogging and catch up on blog posts-I’m very excited to write a few blog posts (I feel like I have a million things I want to write and not enough time). I also want to read all of my friend’s blogs because I’m horribly behind (sorry!). Cost? Free
  5. Reading-I have a whole bunch of reading to catch up on. I have 3-4 magazines that I haven’t had time to look at and this Book that a co-worker lent to me. Cost? Free

5 things I won’t be doing during the blizzard:

  1. Going to work-Who ever thought you’d get a, “snow day” as an adult? My employer gave all, “non-essential” employees the day off tomorrow. I thought about trying to go in for overtime, but decided against it in case public transportation isn’t back up and running by tomorrow (all subway service is being shut down tonight at 11pm).
  2. Building a snowman-I hate snow, I hate cold. The only time I’ll be going outside is to drag the dog out to pee (and literally I have to drag him because he also hates the snow and hates getting his feet wet).
  3. Drinking hot chocolate-We don’t have any in the house right now (sad I know!). But we do have marshmallows. So maybe we’ll toast those over the gas stove (is that even healthy? probably not).
  4. Shoveling-Our condo association is cheap frugal so we don’t hire a maintenance company to shovel the sidewalk/stairs. We take turns shoveling and Eric shoveled the last time we got snow, so hopefully we’re off the hook for the duration of this super storm.
  5. Shopping-Most of the stores around us already have signs on their doors stating that they are closing for the duration of the storm. I don’t need anything right now anyway, so we’ll be eating from the pantry this week to save money.

Is the #Blizzard15 impacting you? How are you keeping yourself entertained? Tell me about the weather near you, I’d love to hear about warm sandy beaches.