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Mar 04

I’m Dating a Financial Stud!

Man Lifting WeightsThis post will undoubtedly embarrass the boyfriend, so I’m apologizing in advance. Sorry honey, you’re a financial stud!

When I first started dating the bf, one of the things that I was immediately impressed by was how financially responsible he was. Not how much he made, or what he drove, but how good he was at saving. Some girls swoon when the see fancy cars or designer duds. Not this girl! After dating several financial, “duds” I vowed that my next boyfriend would be a financial stud.

Several dates into our early relationship we started talking about money one night at dinner. Yes I know you’re not supposed to, but personal finance bloggers are cut from a different cloth (OK we’re weird. OK I’ll just speak for myself, I’m weird).

All kidding aside, when I found out that the bf had an emergency fund I melted. Because financial security is so important to me, a boyfriend with an emergency fund was like a gift sent from heaven. Not because I didn’t have my own emergency fund (I did) and I wanted to steal his, but because having an emergency fund was a, “sign” that the boyfriend and I shared the same financial values.

You know, basic principles I live my life by, like don’t buy things you can’t afford, pay off student loans aggressively, and don’t use credit cards if you can’t pay them off in full at the end of the month. The fact that the bf and I agreed about how to spend and save money made him incredibly attractive. We all know that money fights and money problems are a leading cause of divorce in the US, so I wasn’t about to doom myself by dating another financial flop.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t have fallen for him if he had $100k in student debt, that would have just made be a hypocrite because I had my own student loans to pay off when I met him. But knowing that he was being smart with his money and building a solid financial foundation was so darn sexy. I love to talk about money and plan, bf humors me, but also shares a desire build a strong financial future. Love you honey! You financial stud you!

Is your significant other super sexy with money? Would you date someone if they were a financial, “hot mess”?

Image:Spirit-Fire

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  1. Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank

    Where were these types of girls when I was single?!?!? Being financially responsible was about as sexy as eating your food off the floor when I was looking for a girl friend. If you didn’t have muscles, a tan and an IQ of less than 100 you pretty much got to slum it.

    Fortunately I found my lovely wife (she used to be a chronic spender) and we both now have the same savings goals.

    To the financial stud in your life – Hang on to this one – she’s a rare breed!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      lol there are a few of us out there. I guess we’re probably few and far between. Muscles, a tan, and IQ less than 100 are not really my thing.

  2. Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies

    Haha, Mr. PoP and I have always been on pretty similar pages money-wise, so I never really gave it a whole lot of thought. Other guys that didn’t have their lives together never really felt like long-term prospects in the way that Mr. PoP did. Don’t get me wrong, they were fun, but I think I always knew they weren’t long term. =)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      It’s always a good thing to be on the same money page. I guess I felt the same way about my ex’s. They were sweet, but I knew that they weren’t “the one” in a financial sense or otherwise.

  3. MakintheBacon$

    I would say my bf is pretty sexy with money. I told him his frugality is such a turn on. Lol.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Totally a turn on!

  4. Brian

    My wife was fairly financially responsible when we met and is more so now that she is with me. For a long time she thought I was just kind of cheap, but now she realizes I just have goals and I am not very impulsy with my spending habits.

    Would I date a “hot mess” well not any more since I am married to a wonderful woman. Did I date a few “hot messes?” Absolutely, but I knew they were just for fun and I wouldn’t be with them long term…

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      I used to make so “hot mess” decisions myself, but thankfully, as I got older I got smarter (and picked a good counterpart). Sounds like you’ve got the same :-)

  5. AverageJoe

    Funny. If I would have known all I had to do was flash a woman a little “zero credit card balance” to score a date, Mrs. Average Joe would have been mine sooner!

    I’m glad to see there are people who seriously consider “financially responsible” as part of the total package when picking a mate.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Maybe I wouldn’t have thought much about it at 20, but at 30, financially responsible is super sexy. No credit card bills and no student loans, whoa mama he’s a catch ;-)

  6. Edgar @ Degrees and Debt

    hahaha! Well done here! I hope to find an awesome finance gal myself

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      They are out there. I’m sure there are some single ladies out there that would love to score themselves a financially responsible mate. Maybe my next blog is a dating service for people who are debt free and working towards debt freedom?

  7. Michelle

    W is a freaking HOT MESS. HOT MESS time 1,000. He is all for buying things now and not saving. If it weren’t for me, he would have nothing, thankfully he knows that and appreciates everything I do to help us :)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Thank goodness he has you (and appreciates you). Some guys (and girls) I know just get pissy when their mates tries to help them with their budget.

  8. John S @ Frugal Rules

    I would date someone if they were not on top of their finances, but I would want to make sure that they were wanting to overcome it and move towards being wise with their money. My wife won me over even more when she showed me her budget when we were dating. It was very simple, which was just fine, and it showed me that she had it going on with money.

    1. Girl Meets Debt

      I really liked your comment on this topic John. Great post KK. I was a financial hot mess and J was a finance superstar when we first met but because I was so eager to overcome my debt and start being smarter with my money, I won J over. That, or my charming smile ;)

    2. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Good points. The current financial situation isn’t really as important as the desire to want to make a better financial future. I wasn’t debt free when I met the bf and if he’d judged me based on that we might not be together.

  9. Janine @ My Pennies, My Thoughts

    Yay! This always makes me so happy when couples have the same financial values. It really decreases the stress in the relationship!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      So much less stressful to be with someone who “gets it” and wants to work with you towards your financial goals.

  10. Morgaine

    I have to say that T wasn’t that great with money when I met him (then again, neither was I) but we’ve improved together. We’ve been together 6 years and now we both have emergency funds and other savings, as well as retirement savings. He’s paid off his debt (I’m still working on mine, $5K to go). We paid for a wedding/honeymoon in cash and have saved up $51K for our first home downpayment.

    Its a great help to know that you and your partner are on the same page financially, it makes things so much easier :)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      I definitely wasn’t as good with money when I met he bf as I am now. We’ve both learned a bunch about money along the way.

      It’s great that you and T were able to grow together and pay down your debt. Only 5K left to go and a good downpayment to boot, woo hoo! Well done!

  11. Kurt @ Money Counselor

    Ditto Glen! I recall once on a very first date the young woman asking me how much money I’d made on a property I’d recently sold. Yikes! Of course I lied and said “a lot.” :-)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      I don’t think I’d talk about money on a first date, and I certainly wouldn’t ask how much you make, or made on a sale, but I would want to hint around a little about budgets and financial values after a few dates.

  12. krantcents

    I now feel like the “sexiest” guy alive! Based on your description, I fit and then some, I never knew that financial responsibility is so sexy. I guess it is because I have been out of the dating scene for nearly 48 years. I know that because I am financially responsible I am also very confident which makes me very attractive to women, but I think I like your description better.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Looks like from the comments I’m surrounded but a super sexy group of guys and gals and I love it! Confidence and financial responsibility, what’s not to love?

  13. Brick By Brick Investing | Marvin

    That’s awesome! Glad to hear your boyfriend is a financial stud, hopefully you’ll be able to say your “Fiance” is a financial stud ;-)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Right? Maybe I’m just trying to butter him up a little. He read the post today and was embarrassed as I’d expected. Thankfully for him, nobody in my “real” life knows this blog exists.

  14. Mackenzie

    Ha, great post KK! I would say my husband and I are on the same page regarding finances but it wasn’t always that way ;)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      It’s a process sometimes. I still had a bunch of debt when the bf and I got serious. Luckily he stuck with me and we both plowed through our respective debts at the same time. It was fun to encourage each other.

  15. eemusings

    Dang! Wish I could say the same, but we’re working on training him up!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      As long as they have the desire to learn that’s all that matters. Nobody is perfect, lord knows I’m not.

  16. Budget and the Beach

    I would also find it really sexy if a guy was good with his finances. Again, not rich necessarily, but financially responsible. Most of my long term boyfriends have been.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Sounds like you’ve been finding the right ones. I was not so wise with my first few relationships ;-)

  17. Laurie @thefrugalfarmer

    Great post. :-). I was a financial mess when hubby and I met, and his big savings account impressed me (he was making, like, $12 an hour and had 15k in the bank) but I totally didn’t get his frugal habits and they bored the crap out of me. But now I’ve wised up, and find his frugalness sexier than ever. :-).

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      I think personal finance is either super sexy and fun and exciting, or really lame and boring to most people. I’m glad that you’ve become a convert to the good side.

  18. Jordann @ My Alternate Life

    Wow sounds like you hit the jackpot! My fiancé and I got together before either of us were financially savvy, and we sort evolved in our view of finances together. I’m glad you two are starting out on the same page!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      I’m a pretty lucky girl. As long as you can get on the same page, that’s all that matters. We don’t agree on everything finance, but the things we don’t agree on are minor and we work through them.

  19. anna

    I agree that being with someone financially responsible is pretty sexy. My bf is way more financially responsible than me, so I’m working towards getting on the same page as him since I agree saving/investing is the way to go.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      It doesn’t come naturally for everybody, but it sounds like you’re other half is a good influence. Bf was a good saver before I met him, but I like to think I’ve taught him a few things and vice versa.

  20. Jacob @ iHeartBudgets

    My wife and I would listen to Dave Ramsey in the car for our first year of marriage. She loved my budget plan, and she’s the queen of thritfy chic! I’m totally with a financial rockstar :)

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Yay for wives who are financial rockstars! I hope the bf says the same about me when we get married. I listen to Dave’s podcasts on my way to work. They’re a good way to stay motivated.

  21. Do or Debt

    Congrats on dating a stud! My boyfriend is a work in progress. I finally convinced him to get a savings account, but I do appreciate how frugal he can be. He also know when to consciously spend ;) I probably would not date a financial hot mess, especially as I am trying so hard to be good with my own finances. When my partner and I first met, we never cared about money and went out a lot. Now that we live together and have transitioned to careers and moved, it’s really important that we are on the same page financially. We both want to get out of debt, live a good life and be generous.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Thanks ;-) All of this stud talk is definitely going to go to his head, but that’s OK he deserves a pat on the back every now and then. Sounds like you and the bf are getting to the right spot. It’s hard, but it will all be worth it in the end when you’re debt free and giving back.

  22. Tony@WeOnlyDoThisOnce

    Must be really nice to know the guy is financially savvy. It says a lot about him as a person in general. Great !!!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      He’s a pretty great guy for a lot of different reasons, but being a financial stud certainly doesn’t hurt.

  23. Serenity

    Love this! I actually started dating my BF before I realized he was very good with money. I would say, even though I strive to be more frugal, I wish I was more like him. He doesn’t mind old furniture and clothes that fall apart, and that’s how he’s saved so much money. He also paid off his student loans shortly after leaving school even with a low-paying job.

    But I am the ambitious one of the duo. I run the joint household account and am in charge of saving money for our upcoming house purchase. Also, I’m a lot less, ahem, lazy with my money. I found out he was keeping thousands in his checking account that wasn’t paying any interest, and I told him to transfer that over to his savings account PRONTO! He’s not regretted it!

    The only bad decision he makes is buying cigarettes, but hey – they can’t all be perfect.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Everybody has things they can (and probably should) cut back on. My bad decision is spending too much on take out and not cooking at home.

      It must have been wonderful to have “discovered” that your bf is great with money. Unfortunately, I think the opposite if often true. Looks like you both have your strengths, so together you’ll be a financial dream team :-)

  24. Kevin Watts

    Congrats on finding a financially responsible person. It seems to be getting harder and harder in this day and age.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Isn’t that the truth? I’m not sure what’s happening, but it seems the financially responsible are getting more responsible and the others, well…not so much.

  25. Patrick@sixbirdsfinancial

    “a boyfriend with an emergency fund was like a gift sent from heaven.”

    Holy Crap, I laughed so hard when I saw this! Good for you, Girl!!

    I notice MANY young men have absolutely no idea what they’re doing financially, so this is a tremendously powerful motivator for men. If an emergency fund makes a girl swoon, I’m betting we’re going to see more emergency funds.

    Next: are you going to run a credit check?

    Great post! Love it,
    pat

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Glad I can be entertaining, I try. Usually I’m the only one who thinks I’m funny. Already ran the credit check, he’s a keeper for sure!

  26. John @ Debt Advice Resource

    My wife is financially great with money, whilst I’m getting better, but it slowly. There’s nothing more appealing than looking at the bank and seeing money in there. My wife has helped make this happen and I couldn’t have done it without her.

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      Yay for your wife, and for you for getting “on board”. Saving doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But it sounds like you’ve got a good teacher.

  27. Chris

    I think being savvy with personal finance is also a sign of how wise and grown up someone is. Spending everything you earn is what you do when you’re 14 not 24 in my opinion!

    1. studentdebtsurvivor.com

      So true. I would definitely link maturity and financial wisdom together. We might make mistakes when we’re in our teens and twenties, but by the time we’re in our 30’s and 40’s hopefully we wised up a little bit and our priorities have changed.

  28. STEVEN J. FROMM, ATTORNEY, LL.M. (TAXATION)

    Love this post. More girls should be attuned to this aspect of life. Having a responsible spouse cuts both ways and being fiscally responsible really helps relationships and obviously makes for a better life (at least potentially).

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