This post will undoubtedly embarrass the boyfriend, so I’m apologizing in advance. Sorry honey, you’re a financial stud!
When I first started dating the bf, one of the things that I was immediately impressed by was how financially responsible he was. Not how much he made, or what he drove, but how good he was at saving. Some girls swoon when the see fancy cars or designer duds. Not this girl! After dating several financial, “duds” I vowed that my next boyfriend would be a financial stud.
Several dates into our early relationship we started talking about money one night at dinner. Yes I know you’re not supposed to, but personal finance bloggers are cut from a different cloth (OK we’re weird. OK I’ll just speak for myself, I’m weird).
All kidding aside, when I found out that the bf had an emergency fund I melted. Because financial security is so important to me, a boyfriend with an emergency fund was like a gift sent from heaven. Not because I didn’t have my own emergency fund (I did) and I wanted to steal his, but because having an emergency fund was a, “sign” that the boyfriend and I shared the same financial values.
You know, basic principles I live my life by, like don’t buy things you can’t afford, pay off student loans aggressively, and don’t use credit cards if you can’t pay them off in full at the end of the month. The fact that the bf and I agreed about how to spend and save money made him incredibly attractive. We all know that money fights and money problems are the leading cause of divorce in the US, so I wasn’t about to doom myself by dating another financial flop.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t have fallen for him if he had $100k in student debt, that would have just made be a hypocrite because I had my own student loans to pay off when I met him. But knowing that he was being smart with his money and building a solid financial foundation was so darn sexy. I love to talk about money and plan, bf humors me, but also shares a desire build a strong financial future. Love you honey! You financial stud you!
Is your significant other super sexy with money? Would you date someone if they were a financial, “hot mess”?
Image:Spirit-Fire
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Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank
March 4, 2013 at 7:08 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Where were these types of girls when I was single?!?!? Being financially responsible was about as sexy as eating your food off the floor when I was looking for a girl friend. If you didn’t have muscles, a tan and an IQ of less than 100 you pretty much got to slum it.
Fortunately I found my lovely wife (she used to be a chronic spender) and we both now have the same savings goals.
To the financial stud in your life – Hang on to this one – she’s a rare breed!
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
lol there are a few of us out there. I guess we’re probably few and far between. Muscles, a tan, and IQ less than 100 are not really my thing.
Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies
March 4, 2013 at 8:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Haha, Mr. PoP and I have always been on pretty similar pages money-wise, so I never really gave it a whole lot of thought. Other guys that didn’t have their lives together never really felt like long-term prospects in the way that Mr. PoP did. Don’t get me wrong, they were fun, but I think I always knew they weren’t long term. =)
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s always a good thing to be on the same money page. I guess I felt the same way about my ex’s. They were sweet, but I knew that they weren’t “the one” in a financial sense or otherwise.
MakintheBacon$
March 4, 2013 at 8:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would say my bf is pretty sexy with money. I told him his frugality is such a turn on. Lol.
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Totally a turn on!
Brian
March 4, 2013 at 9:18 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My wife was fairly financially responsible when we met and is more so now that she is with me. For a long time she thought I was just kind of cheap, but now she realizes I just have goals and I am not very impulsy with my spending habits.
Would I date a “hot mess” well not any more since I am married to a wonderful woman. Did I date a few “hot messes?” Absolutely, but I knew they were just for fun and I wouldn’t be with them long term…
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I used to make so “hot mess” decisions myself, but thankfully, as I got older I got smarter (and picked a good counterpart). Sounds like you’ve got the same
AverageJoe
March 4, 2013 at 9:34 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Funny. If I would have known all I had to do was flash a woman a little “zero credit card balance” to score a date, Mrs. Average Joe would have been mine sooner!
I’m glad to see there are people who seriously consider “financially responsible” as part of the total package when picking a mate.
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Maybe I wouldn’t have thought much about it at 20, but at 30, financially responsible is super sexy. No credit card bills and no student loans, whoa mama he’s a catch
Edgar @ Degrees and Debt
March 4, 2013 at 9:59 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
hahaha! Well done here! I hope to find an awesome finance gal myself
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
They are out there. I’m sure there are some single ladies out there that would love to score themselves a financially responsible mate. Maybe my next blog is a dating service for people who are debt free and working towards debt freedom?
Michelle
March 4, 2013 at 10:09 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
W is a freaking HOT MESS. HOT MESS time 1,000. He is all for buying things now and not saving. If it weren’t for me, he would have nothing, thankfully he knows that and appreciates everything I do to help us
KK
March 4, 2013 at 7:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thank goodness he has you (and appreciates you). Some guys (and girls) I know just get pissy when their mates tries to help them with their budget.
John S @ Frugal Rules
March 4, 2013 at 11:18 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would date someone if they were not on top of their finances, but I would want to make sure that they were wanting to overcome it and move towards being wise with their money. My wife won me over even more when she showed me her budget when we were dating. It was very simple, which was just fine, and it showed me that she had it going on with money.
Girl Meets Debt
March 4, 2013 at 5:35 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I really liked your comment on this topic John. Great post KK. I was a financial hot mess and J was a finance superstar when we first met but because I was so eager to overcome my debt and start being smarter with my money, I won J over. That, or my charming smile
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Good points. The current financial situation isn’t really as important as the desire to want to make a better financial future. I wasn’t debt free when I met the bf and if he’d judged me based on that we might not be together.
Janine @ My Pennies, My Thoughts
March 4, 2013 at 11:19 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yay! This always makes me so happy when couples have the same financial values. It really decreases the stress in the relationship!
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:05 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So much less stressful to be with someone who “gets it” and wants to work with you towards your financial goals.
Morgaine
March 4, 2013 at 12:10 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I have to say that T wasn’t that great with money when I met him (then again, neither was I) but we’ve improved together. We’ve been together 6 years and now we both have emergency funds and other savings, as well as retirement savings. He’s paid off his debt (I’m still working on mine, $5K to go). We paid for a wedding/honeymoon in cash and have saved up $51K for our first home downpayment.
Its a great help to know that you and your partner are on the same page financially, it makes things so much easier
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I definitely wasn’t as good with money when I met he bf as I am now. We’ve both learned a bunch about money along the way.
It’s great that you and T were able to grow together and pay down your debt. Only 5K left to go and a good downpayment to boot, woo hoo! Well done!
Kurt @ Money Counselor
March 4, 2013 at 12:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ditto Glen! I recall once on a very first date the young woman asking me how much money I’d made on a property I’d recently sold. Yikes! Of course I lied and said “a lot.”
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t think I’d talk about money on a first date, and I certainly wouldn’t ask how much you make, or made on a sale, but I would want to hint around a little about budgets and financial values after a few dates.
krantcents
March 4, 2013 at 2:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I now feel like the “sexiest” guy alive! Based on your description, I fit and then some, I never knew that financial responsibility is so sexy. I guess it is because I have been out of the dating scene for nearly 48 years. I know that because I am financially responsible I am also very confident which makes me very attractive to women, but I think I like your description better.
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:19 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Looks like from the comments I’m surrounded but a super sexy group of guys and gals and I love it! Confidence and financial responsibility, what’s not to love?
Brick By Brick Investing | Marvin
March 4, 2013 at 2:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
That’s awesome! Glad to hear your boyfriend is a financial stud, hopefully you’ll be able to say your “Fiance” is a financial stud
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Right? Maybe I’m just trying to butter him up a little. He read the post today and was embarrassed as I’d expected. Thankfully for him, nobody in my “real” life knows this blog exists.
Mackenzie
March 4, 2013 at 5:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ha, great post KK! I would say my husband and I are on the same page regarding finances but it wasn’t always that way
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s a process sometimes. I still had a bunch of debt when the bf and I got serious. Luckily he stuck with me and we both plowed through our respective debts at the same time. It was fun to encourage each other.
eemusings
March 4, 2013 at 6:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dang! Wish I could say the same, but we’re working on training him up!
KK
March 4, 2013 at 8:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
As long as they have the desire to learn that’s all that matters. Nobody is perfect, lord knows I’m not.
Budget and the Beach
March 4, 2013 at 8:41 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I would also find it really sexy if a guy was good with his finances. Again, not rich necessarily, but financially responsible. Most of my long term boyfriends have been.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sounds like you’ve been finding the right ones. I was not so wise with my first few relationships
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer
March 5, 2013 at 7:14 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Great post.
. I was a financial mess when hubby and I met, and his big savings account impressed me (he was making, like, $12 an hour and had 15k in the bank) but I totally didn’t get his frugal habits and they bored the crap out of me. But now I’ve wised up, and find his frugalness sexier than ever. 
.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:45 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think personal finance is either super sexy and fun and exciting, or really lame and boring to most people. I’m glad that you’ve become a convert to the good side.
Jordann @ My Alternate Life
March 5, 2013 at 8:02 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow sounds like you hit the jackpot! My fiancé and I got together before either of us were financially savvy, and we sort evolved in our view of finances together. I’m glad you two are starting out on the same page!
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I’m a pretty lucky girl. As long as you can get on the same page, that’s all that matters. We don’t agree on everything finance, but the things we don’t agree on are minor and we work through them.
anna
March 5, 2013 at 12:16 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I agree that being with someone financially responsible is pretty sexy. My bf is way more financially responsible than me, so I’m working towards getting on the same page as him since I agree saving/investing is the way to go.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It doesn’t come naturally for everybody, but it sounds like you’re other half is a good influence. Bf was a good saver before I met him, but I like to think I’ve taught him a few things and vice versa.
Jacob @ iHeartBudgets
March 5, 2013 at 2:01 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My wife and I would listen to Dave Ramsey in the car for our first year of marriage. She loved my budget plan, and she’s the queen of thritfy chic! I’m totally with a financial rockstar
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yay for wives who are financial rockstars! I hope the bf says the same about me when we get married. I listen to Dave’s podcasts on my way to work. They’re a good way to stay motivated.
Do or Debt
March 5, 2013 at 5:24 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Congrats on dating a stud! My boyfriend is a work in progress. I finally convinced him to get a savings account, but I do appreciate how frugal he can be. He also know when to consciously spend
I probably would not date a financial hot mess, especially as I am trying so hard to be good with my own finances. When my partner and I first met, we never cared about money and went out a lot. Now that we live together and have transitioned to careers and moved, it’s really important that we are on the same page financially. We both want to get out of debt, live a good life and be generous.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 10:00 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thanks
All of this stud talk is definitely going to go to his head, but that’s OK he deserves a pat on the back every now and then. Sounds like you and the bf are getting to the right spot. It’s hard, but it will all be worth it in the end when you’re debt free and giving back.
Tony@WeOnlyDoThisOnce
March 5, 2013 at 6:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Must be really nice to know the guy is financially savvy. It says a lot about him as a person in general. Great !!!
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
He’s a pretty great guy for a lot of different reasons, but being a financial stud certainly doesn’t hurt.
Serenity
March 5, 2013 at 10:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Love this! I actually started dating my BF before I realized he was very good with money. I would say, even though I strive to be more frugal, I wish I was more like him. He doesn’t mind old furniture and clothes that fall apart, and that’s how he’s saved so much money. He also paid off his student loans shortly after leaving school even with a low-paying job.
But I am the ambitious one of the duo. I run the joint household account and am in charge of saving money for our upcoming house purchase. Also, I’m a lot less, ahem, lazy with my money. I found out he was keeping thousands in his checking account that wasn’t paying any interest, and I told him to transfer that over to his savings account PRONTO! He’s not regretted it!
The only bad decision he makes is buying cigarettes, but hey – they can’t all be perfect.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 10:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Everybody has things they can (and probably should) cut back on. My bad decision is spending too much on take out and not cooking at home.
It must have been wonderful to have “discovered” that your bf is great with money. Unfortunately, I think the opposite if often true. Looks like you both have your strengths, so together you’ll be a financial dream team
Kevin Watts
March 5, 2013 at 10:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Congrats on finding a financially responsible person. It seems to be getting harder and harder in this day and age.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Isn’t that the truth? I’m not sure what’s happening, but it seems the financially responsible are getting more responsible and the others, well…not so much.
Patrick@sixbirdsfinancial
March 6, 2013 at 6:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
“a boyfriend with an emergency fund was like a gift sent from heaven.”
Holy Crap, I laughed so hard when I saw this! Good for you, Girl!!
I notice MANY young men have absolutely no idea what they’re doing financially, so this is a tremendously powerful motivator for men. If an emergency fund makes a girl swoon, I’m betting we’re going to see more emergency funds.
Next: are you going to run a credit check?
Great post! Love it,
pat
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Glad I can be entertaining, I try. Usually I’m the only one who thinks I’m funny. Already ran the credit check, he’s a keeper for sure!
John @ Debt Advice Resource
March 6, 2013 at 7:56 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My wife is financially great with money, whilst I’m getting better, but it slowly. There’s nothing more appealing than looking at the bank and seeing money in there. My wife has helped make this happen and I couldn’t have done it without her.
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yay for your wife, and for you for getting “on board”. Saving doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But it sounds like you’ve got a good teacher.
Chris
March 6, 2013 at 9:47 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think being savvy with personal finance is also a sign of how wise and grown up someone is. Spending everything you earn is what you do when you’re 14 not 24 in my opinion!
KK
March 6, 2013 at 9:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
So true. I would definitely link maturity and financial wisdom together. We might make mistakes when we’re in our teens and twenties, but by the time we’re in our 30′s and 40′s hopefully we wised up a little bit and our priorities have changed.
STEVEN J. FROMM, ATTORNEY, LL.M. (TAXATION)
March 27, 2013 at 8:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Love this post. More girls should be attuned to this aspect of life. Having a responsible spouse cuts both ways and being fiscally responsible really helps relationships and obviously makes for a better life (at least potentially).
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