In Honor of Valentine’s Day, Date the Boss to Get Ahead. Ok, that’s not exactly what I mean, but stay with me…
During a recent manager’s training with my HR Director, a co-worker compared the job interview/hiring process to courting (you know, dating for anyone born after 1900). Here are some of the interesting similarities that we ended up discussing:
Pleasantries-On the first date you exchange pleasantries and small talk. Don’t offer too much about your past lovers or their issues. Similarly, during an interview, you shouldn’t give your future boss too much information about your past co-workers or bosses. The bad things you say about them may reflect poorly on you and your ability to maintain interpersonal relationships with others. After your date bashes three of his exs, stating how, “crazy” and, “neurotic” they were, you start to wonder if he’s the, one with problem, right?
Getting to know each other-I ask you a few questions, you ask me a few questions. During the interview you’re both getting to know each other. You’re learning about the types of things you both like and dislike in a work relationship and trying to determine whether the employer/employee relationship is going to be a good fit. Make sure to ask questions about, “deal breakers”. If you want kids and he doesn’t (in a dating scenario) or airline travel is required and the interviewee is terrified of flying you need to know that so you don’t waste each others’ time.
Sex on the First Date-Save intimacy for later in the relationship. Don’t rush in. You’re both on your best behavior during the first date. Likewise, the very best and most professional behavior you’ll ever see from your employee will take place during the interview. If he or she does or says something questionable during the interview, imagine what he’ll be like 3 months after you hire him. Scary, right?
So What Do You Think, Ready to “Date” Your Future Boss? Have Experience as the “Courter” or the “Courtee”?
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Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies
February 13, 2013 at 7:27 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Haha, I like it. And I agree that too much intimacy with the boss can be weird. Sometimes having the boss know too much of your personal life can be a bad thing.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Absolutely. I like my boss, but she’s my boss.
Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank
February 13, 2013 at 7:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I like the comparison, I had never really thought of it that way before, but it really is very similar.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I hadn’t either Glen, but the more we talked about it the more I saw the similarities.
pauline
February 13, 2013 at 8:29 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Nice analogy. I wouldn’t date my boss, ever. I go to work, do my job, go home. Even on the pleasantries I have a hard time. I am there to do a job and those companies like Google or FB where “people have a such a hard time and a break room with sofas an Xbox” just seem to me like tricks to make you stay longer and be a slave of your job. So no dating my job. Hello, goodbye and a job well done.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yeah, that’s how I feel about it too. You pay me, I do a good job, I go home. I don’t want to play games or hang out.
C The Writer
February 13, 2013 at 10:09 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This post illustrates perfectly why I don’t date.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mackenzie
February 13, 2013 at 11:50 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Too funny, I like the comparison! Never thought of it that way
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Me neither, but it is an interesting analogy when you think about it.
Mo' Money Mo' Houses
February 13, 2013 at 5:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Interesting and good points. Though I definitely don’t want to date my boss haha.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My boss is lovely, but I don’t want to date her
Brick By Brick Investing | Marvin
February 13, 2013 at 10:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Love the analogy and you’re absolutely right. The most professional an individual is going to be is on their interview and their first week on the job.
KK
February 14, 2013 at 9:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Yup, after that you find out who they really “are”.
Girl Meets Debt
February 14, 2013 at 2:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This post is too cute
My boss knows alot about me. But that’s because she asks alot of questions and I have no filter. Luckily this wasn’t all on the first date lol
KK
February 16, 2013 at 11:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
She might not have hired you if you’d spilled on the first date. At least you’ve waited until later in your “relationship” wink.
eemusings
February 18, 2013 at 8:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I share as little as possible about my personal life at work – partly that’s a desire to keep work and home separate, and just because I’m a very private person. I suppose I like to not give them any information that could potentially be used against me but at the same time opening up a bit builds a bond, which is a good thing right?
KK
February 18, 2013 at 9:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t share a lot at work either ( I think that’s smart), but I do try to share enough to be sociable. Typically other folks like to talk about themselves so I listen and then ask questions periodically to show I’m engaged and paying attention (how are your kids? Did you guys get the living room painted, etc.).
CF
February 16, 2013 at 1:44 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Don’t get me started – one of my managers is far too tempting for my own good. Sorry Brian…
-cf
KK
February 16, 2013 at 11:52 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
It’s good you’ve been able to control your urges. Dating at work is never a good idea.
Survivor’s Standouts 2/17/13 » Student Debt Survivor
February 17, 2013 at 9:18 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
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